Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. Henry Ford said that, and how true it is. Obviously there’s some exceptions to the rule, for example; when I was at school I definitely thought I couldn’t jump over a hurdle. Of course when I actually tried to I could, but the very idea of doing so freaked me out so I simply used to run towards the hurdle, stop, climb over, and repeat. Drove my teacher mad and resulted in me having to run around the field a few times LOL.
When I look through my life though I can definitely see times when my mindset has held me back and it’s something I still have to work on most days now too.
How do we create a positive mindset?
I think of it as a muscle that gets stronger with use and if you can get yourself a personal trainer, aka a good friend who can help keep you on track, you’ll soon whip your mindset into shape.
First of all, we need to get conscious of what sort of a mindset we have:
- Am I always positive, determined and believing I can do things?
- Or am I self-defeating, long-suffering, up against it and have a big hill to climb?
- Do you think “I can do it!”
- Or do you think “How the hell am I going to be able to do that!?”.
See a pattern forming? ; )
I always thought I was a pretty positive person until I started working on my mindset and I realised how incredibly negative I was ALL the time!
- Making excuses for things instead of taking responsibility
- Looking for problems instead of positives
- Moaning about ‘stuff’ – anything
- Using un-empowering words “I should/must” instead of “I can/want to”
It’s simple really; this sort of thinking makes you feel bad.
We attract whatever we put out there, like magnets. If you’re projecting crud you’re going get that stuff back! If you’re projecting positivity, sure you’ll get some crud back (because every other bugger is sooo negative) but magic will happen because you’ll start attracting people who support you, who lift you up, who help you feel and be more positive. You’ll start seeing positive things all around you and the negative will slip right down the scale of importance.
I love the reference to ‘radiators and drains’ that you’ll find in the book Celestine Prophesy. He refers to people being one or the other. Radiators warm their surroundings, they make you feel safe, happy, comfortable. Drains take stuff away, they’re always hungry for more and give you nothing back. Make it a priority to be a radiator and surround yourself with radiators. Avoid drains – they are energy vampires and they will suck the life out of you.
I bet you can think of someone right now who makes you feel drained. Who always absorbs the life out of the room. It’s all about them and their ‘woe is me’ moments. If you have been ill, they have been more ill. If you have black dog, theirs is blacker….
We don’t want to be that person and thankfully we don’t have to be. Nor do you have to hang around with them – yes, even if they’re family. Your life is your own and you have the power to choose who you are around. Sometimes it can feel awkward but I’ve seen a number of friends make these difficult choices in the last 12 months; to walkaway from relationships that are hurting them, some with incredibly close family and very upsetting to do. But it’s a decision you, and only you, can make.
Don’t get me wrong. Life really does throw curveballs and most people are struggling with something, definitely some more than others. But I bet you know some people who are going through terrible times and still remain as positive as they can and others who fall deep down into the well of negativity. A positive mindset may not solve all your problems, it may not heal you, but it sure does make the tough times easier to bear. It can help you find a way through and depending on what’s happening it really can save you, quite literally in some cases.
Of course I still catch myself having daft, down mindset thoughts, but I try hard not to and to switch a positive when I notice what I’m doing. If you ever catch me being a Negative Nelly feel free to bring me up on it as sometimes she sneaks in to the room without me realising!
There will be times when you get sucked in and think “ahhh blow it, I’m going to wallow in self pity for a few hours and then I’ll pick myself back up again”. I think the danger is when you allow yourself to stay there. Seek help. Many people will be willing to lift your spirits if you ask. Sometimes simply being around other people will make you feel better, even if you haven’t asked for help. Do what you need to do and find the strategies that quickly and easily help you feel better.
There are some cool tools you can use to help with this:
- Techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique – or ‘tapping) and Balance Procedure
One of your greatest assets is a positive mindset. It will get you through the bad times and lead you to some amazing times.
A few questions for you:
- Are you hanging around with radiators or drains?
- How can you ‘be more radiator’?
- What would help you feel more positive?
- Who could you team up with as a mindset support and accountability buddy?
- What one positive action will you commit to doing this week?
As always, I love to hear what you think about my ramblings, so do hit reply or get involved in the conversation in the Facebook group.
Have a positive week ahead.